tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66576612024-03-18T22:53:22.587-04:00Vertical ChewCome, savor the caramel nougat-type adventure lifestyle. Also, eat more omega-3 fats.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger519125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-47613481934881968412015-05-01T12:07:00.005-04:002015-05-01T12:07:35.289-04:00The First Year of Marriage<div class="MsoTitle">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: center;">If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or
have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home
and bring happiness to the wife he has married.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: center;">– Deuteronomy 24:5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is one of those kooky verses that we don’t understand in
modern America, so we just jettison it like old apples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It has no use or application to me”, we
might say--then we just rumble on with our overactive “Christian”
lifestyles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We really like to do this,
especially with the Old Testament:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
is no prophecy, proverb, or command that we can’t easily throw aside based on
the fact that it’s, after all, the Old Testament, and “didn’t Jesus come to
make the Old Testament obsolete?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well,
no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course not- Jesus came to obliterate
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the law</i>, or even more specifically,
to replace the system that says justification before God is due to the
observance of the law.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So observing many
laws (Anybody rest one day a week?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anybody avoid taking the LORD’s Name in vain?) is not wrong; it’s the looking
for right standing before God through observing those laws that Jesus came to
destroy...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back
to the verse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are all kinds of
things that God tells us in the scriptures that are just “laws of living”:
they’re God’s Owner’s Manuel for how to be a successful, well-working human
being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this is one of those
laws.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s observe what exactly the
verse says:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 120.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -48.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">When you marry, the rules
change.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;">This
should be obvious enough, but lots of people don’t take this on board.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People assume that they can go on with their
guys’ nights, spending in a way that only considers yourself, throwing your
dirty jeans wherever, scheduling yourself the way you used to, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh contrare! Entering into any covenant is a
death and a rebirth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means your old
way of life, your old identity, your old patterns- they all DIE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn’t it funny the first time you’re referred
to as a fiance? Or as a husband or wife?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yeah, that’s a new label for you, because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your identity is changing</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s a huge thing to undergo, and the Bible says it takes some
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EVERYTHING is up for
re-negotiation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That doesn’t mean you’ll
never have a guys’ night again; it just means that you can’t assume your old
life is going to continue, with the minor addition of a new person along for
the ride!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 120.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -48.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">New Marriage needs new
margins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The verse says that the man is not to go to war, nor have
“any other duty” laid on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, this means that IF THE NATION IS AT WAR
(does that sound like kind of an emergency?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Uh, yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It does), even THEN,
the husband is not to go away and join the fighting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And there is to be no other duties laid on his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To us, this means that we’re to avoid any new stresses or weights added
to a new marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did we mention that
you’re struggling with a new identity and lifestyle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s a SIGNIFICANT adjustment, and the
invenstment in that personal transformation will pay off for generations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bible says, give that transition some time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Avoid taking a new job, moving to a new city,
or taking on volunteering roles (however good they may be!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could be feeding the poor or helping out
at your church or any kind of great, selfless stuff… but the Bible says this
isn’t the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve got bigger fish
to fry), where at all possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make
room for each other.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 120.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -48.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Bringing happiness to each other
is a learned skill.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">
</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels indulgent, maybe, to devote an entire
year to “bringing happiness” (another translation of this verse is “learn how
to please…”), but that’s such a necessary, foundational skill of marriage… and
of family life in general!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Books like <u>The
Five Love Languages</u> or <u>His Needs, Her Needs</u> are all about this
learning process- loving one person is NOT the same as loving another
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the Bible actually dictates
that there be a period COMMITTED to the study of loving your new spouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s kind of awesome of God to demand that we
do this, huh?</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So besides encouraging people to say NO to good-looking
opportunities that will introduce stress and responsibility into a young
marriage (at least for the first year), we recommend a couple of other things
too:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) Try to get away monthly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Go camping, find a B&B, go stay with relatives- just get out of the
grind of normal life and get away together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Take that time to review your vows, talk about your marriage and
relationship, and how’s it’s going with the year’s gold to “learn how to bring
happiness”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What am I doing well?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where can I improve? Etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the most important relationship of your
life, and will determine the lives of, potentially, thousands of people who
come behind you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s worth the investment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) Work your way through marriage books, attend a marriage
conference- just make marriage your hobby for the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a helpful blog or podcast, meet up with
another young couple, find a mentor couple to guide you, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just make Making A Great Marriage job one for
this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) Use this first year to get your finances in order and
create healthy habits that you’ll follow for a lifetime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That includes giving, savings, and good
spending (spending on stuff that matters, like relationships and memorable
experiences, but saying no to stuff that doesn’t, like chasing fashion or tech
trends).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talk through all these things
as often and as thoroughlly as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What better time to work through these really important issues than your
“off year” of marriage?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4) If there are past abuse, sexual, or illness issues, deal
with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get counseling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a prayer group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get physical therapy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, this year is for YOU- you’re laying a
strong foundation for the family God is buildling through the two of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t put off wholeness in body, soul, or
spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Invest in each other and in your
marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Times;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can’t think of a better investment in this first year than
to pursue one another’s health, wholeness, and happiness. Being able to believe that “my spouse really
wants my good, more than money or success or knowledge or anything else” is a
powerful trust-builder that, again, will pay off for the rest of your lives
(and for the duration of your family lineage!).
Go to school on this wonderful provision God gives us in the scriptures,
and protect this precious first year.
Don’t let undue pressures creep in on your new marriage- knowing that
fostering its health is the wisest move you can make.</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Steven Manuelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06989419216019855424noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-74496362590216807352013-12-13T13:48:00.001-05:002013-12-13T13:48:17.479-05:00Prophetic Word From Denis Beausejour<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.infiniteunknown.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/FEMA-Ready-Kids-Lets-Get-Ready1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.infiniteunknown.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/FEMA-Ready-Kids-Lets-Get-Ready1.gif" height="118" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I see a fork in the road with Jesus saying “Come follow me”. </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I sense the Lord is calling us to move beyond addition in our disciple making and to move to multiplication. Biblical knowledge is no longer to be the sign of maturity but rather obedience and fruitfulness and reproduction. I sense Jesus saying “I am going to have you bear much fruit if you abide in obedience.”</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I believe the Spirit is asking us to stop muffling Jesus words with human traditions. Those who have ears to hear are those who approach His Word with a desire for uncompromising obedience. The commands of Jesus are the textbook for discipleship in lifestyle. We must obey in repentance, Spirit-filled living, prayer, generosity, restored marriages and relationships, and making disciples.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Get your disciples ready for the church to move underground. The coming season will be a time of revival and awakening contrasted with growing evil and persecution. We must not allow the cares of the world to distract us. Set the plow and do not look back. Become poor so that others may inherit eternal riches. Loving one another will become more and more practical as we share our resources.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Prayer will release the coming move of God. Will you seek me in the school of Kingdom prayer? I am releasing Body ministry through the priesthood of all believers. I am obliterating the clergy/laity divide and calling everyone to ministry. Leaders streamline your budgets and engage in tent making. Simplify.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Open your hearts and open your homes. Grasp my definition of family - the Father’s Household. Fathers and mothers will turn to the next generation and build networks of extended households where the next generation is disciple systematically for reproduction. Generations will come together in the Body. Unity and love will prevail in my Church by the power of the Spirit.</div>
Steven Manuelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06989419216019855424noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-10833967142600986582013-11-20T12:11:00.001-05:002013-11-20T22:32:54.785-05:00Discipline is Normal<div>
<div>
<i>Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone
who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a
crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last
forever. -1 Corinthians 9:24-25</i></div>
</div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Today
I heard a group of people talk about the pain and glory involved in
physical training when they've not been used to it. What resulted was
anger/cursing, resentment, accusations from their own hearts ("You can't do this." "You need to stop."), guilt/shame, and a general feeling that they were trying to tackle something impossible.<br />
<br />
What I took away from their inspirational stories was that WE ARE SOFT. Me included. WE DESPISE DISCIPLINE. We've all been acclimated to comfort and instant gratification and the (vain) pursuit of life without pain. It's the calling card of our culture and we were trained up honest, right in the middle of it. It's the air we breathe.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, this will not do, going forward.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Our endurance is crap.</span><br />
<br />
<i> The one who endures to the end will be saved. -Mark 13:13</i><br />
<br />
Endurance is the ability to undergo pain for long periods of time. Most of us throw up our hands at ANY sign of pain, much less the slow burn described by the word "endurance". That stuff is in short supply around here, and I'm emboldened any time I see it on display around me. People who fast as a discipline (as opposed to a one-off "don't let me die, God!" emergency move- I mean those are good, too, but when somebody decides they're going to fast as a lifestyle move, I want to take my shoes off. Holy ground.), pray through the night, repeatedly and decisively pour their lives out for the poor, etc. are special people. They are building ENDURANCE. Ask any distance runner and they'll tell you that you can NOT start having 10 hours of running in the tank. You start small. It hurts. You run. It's exhausting. You lose hope. Then you ramp up again, give it another go, and you can go a. little. bit... farther. Repeat, ad infinitum, and you get Mucho Endurancio.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. Discipline is part of the deal.</span><br />
<br />
<i>Endure all hardship as discipline. - Hebrews 12:11</i><br />
<br />
We all like the idea of being disciples. Sounds great! But the idea of being DISCIPLINED, or "living a life of discipline" or whatever it looks like in action? We run the other way, screaming. "I've earned this car, even if I can't really afford it." "But it's the holidays and candy is everywhere! How am I supposed to resist?" "Get up earlier than I already DO, just to spend time with God??" We use innumerable excuses to dodge discipline... and yet we call ourselves disciples! ...I think somebody's fooling themselves.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. Discipline is <a href="http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/11/11/get-rich-with-the-position-of-strength/" target="_blank">voluntary discomfort</a>.</span><br />
<br />
<i> </i><i><span class="text 1Cor-9-27" id="en-NIV-28568">I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. - 1 Corinthians 9:27</span></i> <br />
<br />
I'd like to think that discipline in money, physical discipline, discipline in my relationships (like scheduling a date night with my wife then sticking to it), discipline in my prayer life, etc. are all just electives. "I can add one here or there if I want bonus points with God." This is not so. Submitting oneself to discipline is a prerequisite, not an add-on, to maturing in Christ. It's all over the Bible, but it's not a popular thing to discuss, because it indicts about 99.9% of us (I'm certainly in that group). We are going to have to bow our head to a life of discipline (intentional living, army-type living, a more spartan, not-all-luxury-all-the-time attitude) if we want to taste the Kingdom. It's just the way it is. "Whoever wants to gain his life must lose it." What do we think Jesus meant by that? Just changing our goals in life from "selfish" to "moral"? We can live a moral lifestyle for selfish reasons, you know! SelfLESS living means that my whole life looks engineered for God's purposes. It's intentional, and strategic, and less mushy. No getting around it.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. Endurance and discipline will be called upon.</span><br />
<br />
<i><sup> </sup><span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>The
seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but
the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. -Matthew 13:22</span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj"> We're coming into the very end times- the last days. They will be hard days. Miraculous days, to be sure, but hard days. There will also be a massive falling away, during these desperate days, by those who call themselves believers. It seems that those who fall away will be those who 1) were told that God only does happy things, never hard things, 2) have avoiding all suffering, so never been toughened up into people with endurance, and 3) are too weak and cowardly to face pain with boldness and yes, even love. I do not want to be in that group. So <b>I'd better start to see discipline, and its resulting pain, as a friend.</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Revelation 12:11, as many of us quote, says "<i>they defeated [the devil] by the word of their testimony and by the blood of the Lamb.</i>" True. But it goes on to say "they loved not their own lives, even to the point of death." Do you love your life today? Sure you do. Your comfort, your pleasure, ease in Zion- these are all things we hold precious to us, actually, as Americans. Well, praise God, I think we're going to have to have some cold water thrown in our faces that will wake us up to the present and coming reality that discipline will be required for the days that we're headed for. And because it's God, I know it's good. My flesh is weak but praise God, my spirit is willing. I'm into making my spirit the lead horse on the Stevie team, so that weak flesh will have to fall away. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">The kind of endurance and discipline the LORD is calling us into these days is a high calling. It is not for the sissies. It is for the warriors. I might not be one yet, but I'm in training. I'm happy to admit alongside you that training hurts. But I'm coming to believe that it's <b>good</b>. It's provision from God. It's salvation. It's a little-regarded form of His protection. </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562" style="font-size: large;"><span class="woj">THEREFORE: </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Take a minute and consider-</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Where are you avoiding discipline right now?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Eating habits</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Sleeping habits</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Sex habits</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Spending/saving habits</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Prayer/study habits</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Physical fitness habits </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">Now take a moment and consider-</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">What am I going to do to undergo the pain of discipline in this area? How can I build it into my calendar? What can I use for inspiration or encouragement? Who can I enlist to keep me accountable? Do I need to spend some money to make this happen? Etc.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj">I wish I could force each of you to do this exercise (you'd be better off). But then again, we won't answer to each other; we'll each give an account to the Captain of the Hosts.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj"><span class="text Jas-1-2-Jas-1-4">Consider
it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all
sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the
open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything
prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed,
not deficient in any way. </span></span></span><span class="text Jas-1-12" id="en-MSG-12784">If
you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help.
You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.
Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry
their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to
get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your
options open... Prosperity is as short-lived as a
wildflower, so don’t ever count on it... Anyone
who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is
mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward
is life and more life. -James 1</span></i><br />
<span class="text Matt-13-22" id="en-NIV-23562"><span class="woj"> </span></span> Steven Manuelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06989419216019855424noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-24659665112338869802008-07-17T23:43:00.004-04:002008-07-17T23:50:59.119-04:00Stock Values: Down.Today I took a look at my stock positions on E*Trade. This is what I saw:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjZxeuqH9Vkf7kb2tW_KRQu36mCcRogg25vAaM5iWDNDDwso_VUe1jQ6CN8w28XAFFJ2Tp7Aiw-42ZTeX8a_SK2QIFyUjnyUR7HUJmihBmx8VTICUwVoLAduq4ThqVNceMqFIe/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjZxeuqH9Vkf7kb2tW_KRQu36mCcRogg25vAaM5iWDNDDwso_VUe1jQ6CN8w28XAFFJ2Tp7Aiw-42ZTeX8a_SK2QIFyUjnyUR7HUJmihBmx8VTICUwVoLAduq4ThqVNceMqFIe/s400/Picture+1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224196071064580802" /></a><br />What I want you to notice here (if you can read it) is that, altogether, I paid $938.19 for stocks that are, together, worth $1.10 today.<br /><br />That means, if I were to "cash out" of my 2,210 shares of stock held by E*Trade, I could not afford to purchase a carbonated beverage at the local convenience store. I would need to add a quarter to my stocks' aggregate value for that soda pop. Or, considered another way, I would need another 578 shares of stock to buy the refreshing fizzy drink.<br /><br />In this, I have been 'unlucky' with the stocks.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-47113503783076514602008-07-16T01:15:00.005-04:002008-07-16T03:00:17.004-04:00Allen Stickney, 1940-2008<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEmoqjb7speI-CkovR6vzjHZoWIcWpQrPsjUupmLL8U6t4knl86omEPtKDypQdGEmsf0SYMd9LohvfgYTkTHWYMmivb4WekAMnGPWmPr64LIEMxz60nJxhkfX6-AHPbDDLdUdD/s1600-h/Allen&Me.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEmoqjb7speI-CkovR6vzjHZoWIcWpQrPsjUupmLL8U6t4knl86omEPtKDypQdGEmsf0SYMd9LohvfgYTkTHWYMmivb4WekAMnGPWmPr64LIEMxz60nJxhkfX6-AHPbDDLdUdD/s400/Allen&Me.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223499377541111330" /></a><br />I was first told about Allen Stickney by my friend Karl Nyquist. I was hunting for a shepherd/mentor in Dallas, and Karl told me there was a "hard core anti-institution" guy that I should look up. When I first called Allen to see if he had some time for a guy like me, he inquired about me and I said I discipled men as a matter of course. There was a pause on the other line. <br /><br />"Well where do you come from?" he said in his severe southern drawl. "Because guys like YOU don't run in herds..."<br /><br />I soon learned that, to Allen, "ministry" was all about making disciples. One life breathing into another. He had no time or patience for any religious effort that didn't translate into mature disciples of Jesus. Needless to say, he wasn't a church fan. One of Allen's famous lines was "the greatest enemy of the gospel is the red brick church house on the corner." He used to berate his old pal Bud for only spending his time around churchmen, instead of the bars that Allen liked to frequent to fish for men. "I tell him, I say 'WHEN, in the name of GOD'..." (This is an exact quote, because once I started hanging around Allen, I took a tape recorder with me to capture his pithy greatness) "...WHEN are you gonna make something that looks like YOU? ...Instead of these phony-balonius, sanctimonius CRAPHEADS..." The guy was, understand, 58 at the time. Aren't you supposed to be a little more... REFINED by that point?<br /><br />Allen's experience with the Christian Religious Complex was extensive: he was the "head pastor" of the First Baptist Church of Augusta, Georgia ("Oh, sure, there I was preaching on television every week, thinking everybody NEEDED to hear what I had to say...") until the racism of his governing board forced him to leave in disgust. His wife Alice (who Allen never referred to but called her "Alice Faye, Baby"- which, pronounced by Allen, sounded like BAY-buh) complimented his passion for taking the good news about Jesus to the very least, so they relocated to Kenshasa, Kenya, and had a career as missionaries, until family problems brought them back home to Dallas.<br /><br />Scores of men, and the hundreds they impacted, are glad God brought Sticko back to Texas for a while. My life was certainly changed. Allen was one in just a small handful of men who've seen the LORD's purposes in me, called it out, and befriended me while watching over my soul. I learned from Allen that the church can meet over fried catfish or in a living room easier than in an auditorium over a Sunday bulletin. I saw a middle-aged man who was still frank about his struggles with the flesh, and who was still ravenous toward the Father, the scriptures, and humbling himself in prayer and worship. <br /><br />In 2002, Dora and I were honored to have Allen officiate our wedding. He and Alice were the single most encouraging couple with regards to our relationship. They saw God's plan long before we did, as Alice and Dora had started to spend time together too. Alice is, like Allen, a person who is completely aware and open about her shortcomings, and simply trusts in the LORD to see her through in spite of them. She pays no attention to Alice, trying to get herself perfect. Her attention is given over to the Perfect God. She and Allen always playfully called me a knucklehead, saying that I was so in love with Dora that I couldn't even see straight enough to know it. But they were for us through all of our romantic bumps, and told us so repeatedly.<br /><br />Allen and Alice Faye Baby dreamed of returning to Kenya, where their hearts were, but they received the terrible news that Allen had developed prostate cancer. Undergoing the painful humiliation of chemo, the troops rallied around Allen and did what we could to serve him and Alice. One of my most precious memories of Allen is when I visited him in his bedroom, catheter and all, and sang songs to Jesus with him. He said I was like David with my guitar, giving comfort to the afflicted Saul through the peace of music. Nobody knew how long he was for the earth, but we knew he was hurting and struggling. That pain laid him open to God like never before. He became desperate, cried out to God (and how!) and he was healed of that cancer. Really. It was gone.<br /><br />Once the doctors were satisfied, Allen and Alice headed back to Kenya, full of youth and energy and great plans for the kingdom of heaven on earth. But they could only stay a couple of years, as Alice had some eye problems, and they returned to Texas once again. Didi and I had dinner with them last year, and we were amazed at the openness and faith of Allen especially, and the ebullient peace that Alice always seems to exude. He was talking with God in terms of a deeper intimacy than he'd ever had. It was astounding. Ever heard of a 67-year-old, who grew up steeped in the Baptist religion, turning to the LORD anew, changing his theology, and being baptized in the Holy Spirit? Yeah, me neither--until Allen. He's one of the very few Christian lifers I've ever met who became MORE malleable, MORE humble and simple in his faith, and MORE open as time went on. Most of us become crusty in our theological certainty, aloof in our self-righteous satisfaction, and arrogant of our knowledge. Not Allen.<br /><br />Then the cancer sprang back to life, more aggressive than before. In no time, Allen was gone. He crossed the finish line on July 6 from a nondescript hospital room in Dallas. But to me and Didi (who he lovingly called Dora BAY-buh), Allen Stickney was a shining star of a man, rough-hewn and beautiful, ornery and gentle. I will love him as long as I live, until the day I see him again.<br /><br />The words he spoke over our marriage have become an anthem ringing over our lives. Allen took to the Message, all raw and common-sounding, and this is how he liked to say I Corinthians 2:9:<br /><br />"What no man ever saw or heard, what no man ever thought could happen... is the <span style="font-style:italic;">very thing</span> God has planned for those who love him."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFl767rJgrS8aERbe3x4Ylc95fr9rpGhJQZsc3W0ecLHVNS1ratsobtz8SYec_00_I77m4k9g38VjEisTfFn8Yct3u23Wic9I-C3o3X7cUvHZx1p-BrxuFUw9kSvT5gAZcAZW/s1600-h/Stickneys.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFl767rJgrS8aERbe3x4Ylc95fr9rpGhJQZsc3W0ecLHVNS1ratsobtz8SYec_00_I77m4k9g38VjEisTfFn8Yct3u23Wic9I-C3o3X7cUvHZx1p-BrxuFUw9kSvT5gAZcAZW/s400/Stickneys.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223502851761912818" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-16584850541968788222008-07-05T04:03:00.004-04:002008-07-05T04:14:06.738-04:00You Crazy Galatians!<img src="http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/corbis/DGT064/modern-church-interior_~ARE062.jpg"><br />Last weekend I did something I rarely ever do.<br /><br />I went to a good old-fashioned churchhouse sunday-go-to-meeting. I could say a lot about this experience (I certainly thought many things), but I'll limit myself to two main ideas. First, this:<br /><img src="http://www.mhca.org.au/AboutMentalHealth/images/clip_image002.jpg"><br />You know how obese people deal with self-hatred, so they hate themselves somewhat and give up on their bodies so hate themselves a little more so give up on themselves a little more so hate themselves a little more? That's called a Downward Cycle.<br /><br />You know how people who work at StressMoney, Inc. deal with performance so they work a little harder (producing a little more success, as they've been trained to define it) so they snuggle up to performance a little more so they work a little harder and do 'better' so they snuggle up to performance a little more? That is, also, a Downward Cycle.<br /><br />You know how people who have a history of bad-ending relationships often deal with rejection so they act in ways that inevitably lead to their being rejected again so they engage in more feelings of rejection, then project that rejection on the NEXT person they meet so that feelings of rejection become automatic, and they deal with more rejection? Again, an ugly cycle. These are all also called ADDICTIONS.<br /><br />There's another cycle out there which also gets a lot of play. It goes like this here. Ready go:<br /><br />*I feel that I am a not-all-I-can-be kind of person. I should try harder. I should be better. I should clean up.<br />*I would feel less loserly if I got me some of that Old Time Religion. That churchhouse makes people betterer, I hear tell.<br />*I go to church and yep, they affirm my suspicions. I AM a loser. They don't say that outright, but they do identify all my shortcomings with expertise. They are good at this. I am... not.<br />*They indicate (in accordance with the belief that made me come in here in the first place) that regularly attending their performances and giving them my money will help abate the loserism I deal with.<br />*I continue to attend, having more shortcomings identified, being told more ways to outwit the loserism which is in my very fabric (I'm really not good at implementing their tips, which is... a bummer), but feel that if I come here more, this will somehow help me out of the quicksand.<br /><br />Sound familiar? Might we call this sort of thing a Downward Cycle? Or addiction? I will. And here's the bonus round:<br /><br />*I am actually a TRY-er, and over the years, have generated such buy-in that I attend the Varsity Prayer Meeting at 6:30am (or I'm on the Special Set-Up/Take-Down Team, or I find myself in a Leader/Staff position, or I get Bible Colleged, or I'm on the Donut Brigade). More of this is better, right?<br />*I soon learn that the stakes, here, are even HIGHER. Whatever I started doing before (I AM, now, reading some Bible once a month. Okay, God?) isn't as good as it MIGHT be. If I pray 10 minutes, I might should bump it to 15--you know, to show my 'commitment'. If I feed a homeless guy, I'm "challenged" to feed 10 and make sure they get into a local trade school. If I WAS giving them X% of my money, X+4% would be even more "humble", "godly", "mature", "self-sacrificing", or whatever the carrot is. There should always be Just.. A... Little... Bit... More out of me.<br />*I try. Boy do I try. <br />*I return to the top of this list, realizing that self-hatred, performance, and rejection are ALL there! Wow! This IS the bonus round!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaocjzQbHXZuvjZpL3RlSA744R_owd0rFG3eZTAIT4JodTRJV-CcePdqQ75eZCWnSeRNlG04esmuLmj22VgthM7Ov7HXvMqtO1LMByNqSneYZofPDW8dLgAg_bjxAiMDC7h7xt/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaocjzQbHXZuvjZpL3RlSA744R_owd0rFG3eZTAIT4JodTRJV-CcePdqQ75eZCWnSeRNlG04esmuLmj22VgthM7Ov7HXvMqtO1LMByNqSneYZofPDW8dLgAg_bjxAiMDC7h7xt/s320/Picture+1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219437977342084514" /></a>[Caveat: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with helping homeless people get into trade school.]<br /><br />So I recognized that cycle while I was there last week. I hadn't seen that before.<br /><br />The second thing I'd like to relate was an actual poem that was dramatized for us all. I'll help you know what was going on so that you don't miss the theatrical aspect of this performance piece or, more importantly, what I thought about everything (wink!). [And yes, I did ask for a copy of this thing specifically to pass along.]<br /><br />--------------<br /><br />PAINT ON THE WALL<br /><br />There was a church upon a hill [by this, they mean a churchhouse building: bricks-and-mortar. Not, you know, the church.]<br />Where everything was fine until<br />The paint inside was getting old<br />And peeling in some spots, I'm told<br />[Do you like it so far? I do.]<br /><br />The pastor called a business meeting [now see, this is a blatant bastardization of the term pastor. Pastors don't CALL F-ING BUSINESS MEETINGS, THEY WATCH OVER THE SOULS OF HUMAN BEINGS, FOR THE LOVE OF THE GOD WHO SHINES IN HEAVEN. Ahem.]<br />And after the preliminary greeting<br />The deacon cried, "Come one, come all!<br />What color shall we paint each wall?"<br /><br />They gathered in the sanctuary [don't get me started on what is a candidate for sanctification and what is a superstitious article of witchcraft, based on the powers we ascribe to it]<br />Each determined, and contrary [Oo!]<br />Sister Gayle said, "What do you think<br />About a very chartreuse pink?"<br /><br />Brother Dave said to the crowd<br />"Isn't that a bit too loud?<br />I prefer a subtle blue-<br />It makes the walls look clean and new!"<br /><br />A woman rebuked, "I wanted gold<br />It seems much warmer-blue's too cold."<br />A man in the back began to bellow<br />"Yellow! Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!" [repetition for comedic effect]<br /><br />From that point on, all their voices grew stronger<br />Each selfish plea whined longer and longer<br />Then strongly and sternly, a voice of great love<br />Silenced the church as It spoke from above:<br /><br />[Here, 'church' is used as a general location, as in 'the auditorium erupted with applause'. Just so you know. Also, know that at this point, the performers slowly began to bow their heads as an unseen performer using a microphone spoke these words as deeply as possible. Also remember that this is a Voice of Great Love.]<br /><br />"You wonder why you can't hear my call<br />When your greatest struggle is paint on the wall [good grief! the rhythm of this thing!]<br />Paint your church the color of skin [Here, God also refers to drywall as a church. Whoops, God!]<br />For you let no other races come in.<br />Paint your church a wealthy green<br />For you ignore the starvation you've seen<br />Paint it white and clean as uncalloused feet<br />For you refuse to share my joy in the street.<br />I agree that your church could be painted in blue<br />For your hearts, so cold, are given to so few.<br />You're experts at church as a highly skilled game [I think God is now referring to the workings of the entire outfit, which isn't really any closer...]<br />But reality demands you serve men in MY name<br />You pray using eloquent "thee"s and "thou"s<br />And yet forget about here's and now's [I'm not sure what God's saying here but I'm certain we've been bad.]<br />You struggle to be an earthly saint<br />But my love must not be covered in paint [Again, God may be misusing a metaphor here]<br /><br />----------<br /><br />I'm tempted to just end there, but I just can't. I don't think anything on this page has ever embarrassed me more than that piece. It made me angry to retype it. Somehow, this piece went from being about people who bicker about color preferences to a long list of our shortcomings. That God really rubs your nose in it, huh? When this thing was done, and my mouth was AGAPE, the performers silently took their seats and people in the crowd raised their eyebrows and looked at one another as if to say "boy, something to think about, there. Mm-hm..." And then everything moved right along, as if this was totally understandable and normal. I was looking for Alan Funt. Nobody presented a plan for helping the hungry, we just all sat soaking in the guilt and shame juice which had just been poured all over us. I wanted to scream and cry and vomit and kick those freaking V-Drums to hell. How dare they so blithely screw with the God's kids' perception of his attitude, you know?<br /><br />I asked myself this: do people walk out of here today feeling endorsed by God, or under suspicion? Do they think God is excited about them, or generally disappointed with them? Do they want to aggressively seek out love because they've been given so much by a good Father, or are just hoping to appease the Great Frown--I mean, uh--Voice of Love? God help us. Please.<br /><img src="http://www.mommytrackd.com/files/features/lost1.jpg">Unknownnoreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-30681559763403816132008-07-03T02:40:00.003-04:002008-07-03T02:57:14.751-04:00Movie Pitch: Behind Closed DoorsOkay, got a crazy idea for a movie.<br /><br />I’m open, shoot.<br /><br />A beat-up, rusty robot is all alone.<br /><br />What’s his goal?<br /><br />Well, uh... he has no goal, per se. He crushes and stacks trash.<br /><br />And this is the star? The beat-up trash compactor?<br /><br />Yeah, but.. but he does things that enDEAR us to him.<br /><br />He tells us his hopes and dreams? He fantasizes about becoming a real boy?<br /><br />Well, no, like I said he doesn’t really have any goals. Maybe he’s lonely?<br /><br />And he conveys this how?<br /><br />Beeps and mechanical purrs. ... You know, R2D2 has ALWAYS been loved…<br /><br />Son, even loon-ball Lucas wouldn’t hope that R2D2 could carry a movie though! He has to communicate SOMETHING to us… what does he do that’s endearing?<br /><br />He… gathers odd bits. That he finds. An old Rubic’s Cube, for instance. People LOVE that thing, am I right? And, uh… he has an old video tape... ready?... of My Fair Lady. Classic, huh? Do kids love My Fair Lady? Yeah they do!<br /><br />I… don’t… ...Tell me about his world. It’s beautiful, he makes friends with people?<br /><br />Well, no. It’s a sort of Mad Max world—completely desolate, destroyed planet. Not a stitch of greenery. No humans left on the planet. At all. Just totally barren. Ever read the Road? Maybe we see a… cockroach?<br /><br />A cockroach? What are you, stupid? So it’s a movie with just this depressing robot on this depressing planet and maybe a cockroach?<br /><br />Oh, no. I’m not STUPID, sir. There’s a love interest! Yesir!<br /><br />A love interest! I’m listening…<br /><br />Well, she’s also a robot…<br /><br />Talking? They start talking?<br /><br />No, no… no talking between them. Boops and bleeps. You know, boops and bleeps.<br /><br />Uh, huh. Two robots that don’t speak on a godforsaken planet, collecting trash with a sidekick cockroach. This sounds great. And action-packed, I might add.<br /><br />Wait! There is action! About halfway through, they make it up to a spaceship full of people…<br /><br />People! Finally! Somebody we like? A Dick Van Dyke sort of guy up there who takes them in, gives us an emotional figure we can sink our teeth into? Gives them a family and shows them how to love? Tell me yes.<br /><br />Well, that’s a negative, too, I’m afraid. See, all the humans are overfed, underexercised, and spend their days in sort of hovercraft La-Z-Boys plugged into video monitors. I mean, ha, just TOTALLY fat and gross--completely pathetic. The humans are deplorable. They don’t really interact with each other, or with the robots. It's crazy on this ship.<br /><br />Geez, man, you’re... kind of depressing me, here. Are you aiming this movie at Goth college students, or what? Is a killer going to be let loose on this ship, or are they going to be sucked into a black hole? I mean, who do you hope will watch this? <br /><br />Uh, children and families, actually.<br /><br />…<br /><br />There are some really nifty chase scenes around the space ship. Oh, boy, it’s fun. And one human decides he wants to STAND, which humans haven’t done for like 500 years. It's kind of campy/inspirational, because these LOSER humans are FINALLY going to MAYBE start to STAND, for cripes' sake, and we think MAYBE...<br /><br />…you know WE’RE humans, right? This is like making a Christian album full of songs criticizing church. Is there even any HUMOR? Do you have ANYTHING?<br /><br />Oh sure! In several places! In one instance, the robot accidentally runs over his cockroach buddy! Ha! Maybe he runs him over a couple of times! Snort!<br /><br />…?<br /><br />..and, uh, the girl robots BLASTS a huge boulder, and there’s a reveal of the guy robot just COWERING behind the remaining rock—I mean, he’s absolutely scared for his life! He thinks she’s going to kill him! He's TERRIFIED back there!<br /><br />Oh... I just… I’m feeling sorry for you right now. ...So... how, in your mind, is this film supposed to be fun or attractive for children? I mean, in ANY way whatsoever.<br /><br />Robots open and shut, like Transformers and Iron Man…<br /><br />…yessss…<br /><br />Did I mention the chase scenes? There are two different ones, for sure.<br /><br />You did. Listen, friend, I really appreciate you coming to me FIRST with this idea, but unless there’s something AMAZING you’re not telling me about this non-talking, future-despairing, humans-are-simps, plotless funfest of yours, I think we’re going to have to pass. I do hope that… SOMEone will give it a good, hard look, and…<br /><br />Oh, and did I mention that Pixar’s going to do it, and we’re going to use really cool computer imaging and early test group results suggest that 20% of all moviegoers will buy a tie-in product of some kind?<br /><br />Is $200 million enough to get you started? <br /><img src="http://www.firstshowing.net/img/wall-e-poster1-big.jpg">Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-47900353625163143602008-06-18T22:47:00.003-04:002008-06-18T23:24:37.181-04:00VChew Exclusive Interview!<img src="http://assets.espn.go.com/photo/2008/0617/nba_g_kobe_dejected_580.jpg"><br />Steve Manuel: Kobe Bryant, my goodness, it's really you. So... you didn't play great in this series, huh?<br /><br />Kobe Bryant: I tell you who didn't play good was Brian Scalabrine. Did he even get in a game? That's a [censored] joke, there.<br /><br />SM: I think he might be injured... but that's not what I'm talking about. Tell me about how YOU played.<br /><br />KB: Kobe knows what he has to do in any given situation. There are other people around this... vicinity... who might not be doing all THEY can do to insure... it's just not championship-caliber, around here.<br /><br />SM: Do you feel that YOU were championship-caliber?<br /><br />KB: Kobe wears several rings. So you tell me.<br /><br />SM: Well, I mean, I'm interviewing you in hopes that YOU will tell ME things. Let's talk about your shooting percentage for this series... you had some clunker games?<br /><br />KB: Boston Celtics prevent Kobe from playing the kind of ball Kobe likes to play. Kobe likes to inbound the ball to Kobe, dribble down with some crazyass spin move right around Red Auerbach's signature, make a bounce pass inside to Kobe, then have Kobe dribble-drive, sucking in like 4 defenders, and uncorking a mad no-look pass to a slashing Kobe who throws it down with AUTHORITY over Paul Garnett or whatever that man is.<br /><br />SM: Those are different... What you're describing is impossible, Kobe.<br /><br />KB: Not finished. Kobe inquires of Kobe as to what our cap space looks like and maybe WE should get one o those PJ Allens for THIS squad up in here. But Kobe says we got all we gon' NEED right there on the court. Kobe's diagramming some sweet plays, Kobe's got that ankle injury behind him, and Kobe hits that fadeaway 3 off the rebounds Kobe snatches up inside. <br /><br />SM: ...<br /><br />SM: What's the player's name on your team that wears the women's athletic headband?<br /><br />KB: Only one name you need to know on this crew. Kobe.<br /><br />SM: Is that the name of that player, the European who plays with his hair and makes an occasional 3?<br /><br />KB: Yeah, that's what I'm saying... Does he score? Then his name's Kobe.<br /><br />SM: So... do you believe that you are EVERY person in this organization?<br /><br />KB: You don't get it. Kobe flies the plane, Kobe makes the team meals, Kobe tapes up ankles, Kobe gets ready for photo opportunities after games with Kobe and takes care of those two sweet little Kobes, and Kobe sweeps up after games, man.<br /><br />SM: Oh... so... you think that you're every person you SEE. You're every person you come in contact with. ...who won the NBA Finals this year?<br /><br />KB: Yeah, NBA Finals. That's it, right there. One magic moment, you know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about one chance to shut them all up, so them who's really great. I'm talking about beatin up the bully. Man, ANYTHING is possible.<br /><br />SM: You're starting to sound a lot like <a href="http://allhiphopsports.blogspot.com/2008/06/kevin-garnett-post-game-interview.html">Kevin Garnett</a>. Um... what IS the name of the tall guy that plays for Boston? He's got a crazy long neck, wears a baseball hat REALLY low, howls at the moon... do you know his name?<br /><br />KB: Whoo! It's an amazing thing, to silence all the critics. People say Kobe's selfish, Kobe's insensitive, Kobe's ding-a-ling not under control, or whatever. But one day, when they ARE Kobe, we'll see what's going on then. Kobe plays basketball.<br /><br />SM: Wait, Kobe... are you in the process of absorbing people into your persona on a regular basis? <br /><br />KB: Tel you who resists Kobe: Eddie House's kid. Dude's got a demon in him or something. Freaky dude. Won't become Kobe.<br /><br />SM: Um... how long does it usually take for you to meet someone then incorporate them into your ego?<br /><br />KB: You listen to me, Kobe. On the next play, I will give you a look, and THAT means that you set a pick for Kobe... Kobe...?<br /><br />[interviewer slips through security and jogs away]<br /><img src="http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/image/article/726/726842/kobe-bryant-interview-20060821030830796-000-000.jpg">Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-15894913429639586402008-06-17T17:10:00.002-04:002008-06-17T17:39:33.415-04:00Anybody got $1,000?This game looks absolutely unbelievable. I LOVE the way it moves and is put together. Just.... love... this. It comes out in the fall and it's called Big Little Planet. It's Mario reborn. I hope it's as funny/clever as it is cute.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/y5_F-mwiVqg&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/y5_F-mwiVqg&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />The realism captured here reminds me of an innovative game created by one of my artistic heroes, Doug Tennapel, which was called the Neverhood, which was made with claymation (why aren't there more video games shot frame-by-frame like this? Oh, I guess because it takes 5 years to make...<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VMMks3_PDLI&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VMMks3_PDLI&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-43907009584805498442008-06-17T08:21:00.003-04:002008-06-17T10:16:50.318-04:00In the Eyre Tonight<img src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/janeeyre/images/450x187/home.jpg"><br />As you may have guessed, heard about, or read on the internet, I love my wife. And as my normal sabbath rest-day was eaten by a 4 1/2 hour home church meeting and resultant encounters with drag queens (I'm telling you- watch out for true community! You don't know where that stuff will lead! If you're a fan of the tame and predictable, I encourage a rock-hewn Church Membership and a play for Sunday School Attendance lapel pins.), me and the missus were due for a night of rest. So last night I laid down my life in the greatest gesture of love any man can give to a woman: we forewent any REAL hope of entertainment and watched an Emily Bronte movie.<br /><br />I don't want to overstate this, but I may be the single greatest husband ever to march across God's midwestern grass.<br /><br />So we watched the BBC's Jane Eyre from 2006, a massive, sprawling piece weighing in at 4 hours, splayed out over 2 discs. It featured cold, stony portraits of England (when your story is set in the 1840s, there isn't much of an alternate), LOTS of kissing (my God! The kissing! I honestly don't know that I've ever seen so much kissing in one evening. It's extremely off-putting and made me surprisingly uncomfortable to watch. It was rough), and a never ending, but-then-there's-this-OOTTHHEERRR-guy kind of plot that rambled and expanded and wouldn't leave well enough alone.<br /><br />Having said all that, I had to confess to myself at the end of it all that I quite enjoyed it. <br /><br />This was originally a miniseries on BBC but, at last, all the loose ends were tied up (will you match it, LOST?) and the relationships were resolved out of question and tension. They did a nice job of jarring us into a new setting (several times) then catching us up and effectively answering the questions the plot had planted. And it ended right, which was nice.<br /><img src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/janeeyre/images/450x187/about.jpg"><br />This girl has the kind of fishy top lip that only Angelina Jolie could love.<br /><br />This is all well and good, but I write today because I made a comment to Didi that found resolution for me this morning. When being exposed to the rigid class structure in the story, and the bondage accompanying it (for instance, travel is an impossibility, as is being social with any but your same-tier colleagues, exploration of the marketplace, exposure to the arts, etc. etc.), I was struck with the unusual time and place we (you and me) live in. For most places in most of human history, you were bound, by where you were born, to a very specific strata, in a very specific place. People find themselves in a context and that's it. You live with what you're given, and most die with no greater knowledge or freedom than that of their contemporaries, or maybe even that of their parents. The strictures presented are lived between and died under. <br /><br />But England, my friends, is bigger than Thornfield Hall. Much bigger.<br /><br />This morning, while praying against religion, I had the same thought. A child will be born in Africa today, and that child will live her whole life under the searing heat of exported Anglicanism. Her conception of love, law, freedom, truth, God, man, meaning, and power will be defined by the tight-knit doctrine foisted upon her in that religious context. And unless God Himself intervenes, she will die with no greater a canvas than is ready-made for her. Again, a boy will be born into a Baptist environment in Louisiana, and unless God (or man moving in God's heart) inserts Himself, that boy will not know God's Spirit, will live under the oppression of the law, and die without ever having really tasted that which Jesus died to give him. My friends, I give you the power of religion.<br /><br />And God is bigger than that. Much bigger.<br /><br />The examples are broader than what I'm presenting, and the stakes are certainly higher than in the Bronte story, but it was a reminder this morning, and I was grateful. Grateful for the ways God's inserted (and will be inserting) himself into the prisons I was born into, and motivated to go walking around my life with a big set of keys, looking for hearts to unlock. I hope I meet a guy in Kroger today. I hope I meet a girl on the train in England in August. I hope I have a meaningful email correspondence with a teen today. I hope God gives me an entrance into the soul of one of my friends later this week. Everybody's been born into a prison, and everybody needs to be busted out of it.<br /><br />Remember when <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rousseau">Jean Jacque Rousseau</a> said "Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains"? Yeah, that guy was an idiot.<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gauguin#Life"><img src="http://www.janeresture.com/tahiti_postcards29/BEAUTIFUL%20TAHITI%20WOMEN%20by%20GAUGUIN%20on%20CANVAS!!.jpg"></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-1841062548549547502008-06-16T11:06:00.002-04:002008-06-16T11:11:24.526-04:00I Had Dinner With This Man<img src="http://assets.espn.go.com/i/mag/2008issues/061608/cover_144x171.jpg"><img src="http://assets.espn.go.com/i/mag/2008issues/061608/cover_144x171.jpg"><br />And what I mean is, we ate 5 tables away from one another.<br /><br />But I think I ate more than he did, and I think he was kind of impressed. He acted like he wasn't, and I acted like I was unaware that he was acting.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-90104781130422979832008-06-16T00:15:00.003-04:002008-06-16T00:58:54.948-04:00Then the drag queen began to prophesy to me.<img src="http://fashionfatalities.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/dame-edna.jpg?w=283&h=283" /><br />My friend Christine had this idea to go set up a tent at the Tr-State Pride Festival, simply praying for people. Christine likes people who're hurting, desperate, and outcast--she is like Jesus in this way. I joined her today. Here are three vignettes:<br /><br />1- I prayed with Frank, who just left the board at a large local Christian Church. I asked him if they knew he was gay, and he assured me they did. He left because it was religious, phony, and political. When I prayed that all bitterness and religious filth would be removed from him, he was grateful and in agreement, saying that he'd been on the receiving end of plenty of condemnation in the name of Jesus.<br /><br />2- I met Joseph, who'd been part of a mass marriage under <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Myung_Moon">Sun Myung Moon</a> and produced a son, Elijah. His marriage dissolved, and as I prayed for him to be freed and clean, and that nothing would hinder him from receiving the pure love of Jesus, he jerked/convulsed a couple of times, which I took to be a good sign. His hands were in the air, and he repeatedly said things like "thank you Jesus. We need you, Jesus." When I met with 15-year-old Elijah, I found him to be incredibly perceptive and sincere in his search for truth. So I shared the gospel with him, and he gladly received that Jesus said he was the only way to the Father in Heaven. Then he joined me in laying hands on his father, Joseph, and we prayed for him again.<div><br /></div><div>3- I sat down with Miss Viagra Falls, the 2008 Entertainer of the Year in Cincinnati. When I mentioned being condemned in the name of Jesus, he said "whatever you're thinking when you say that--gossip, evil looks, insults, etc.--I've been on the receiving end of. I grew up Pentecostal and they don't mess around..." So I prayed for MVF, and when I was done, his eyes were rolled back in his head and he was feeling around for my head. Then the drag queen began to prophesy to me, speaking a lot of accurate, God-honoring words over me. "The law of the LORD is righteous and true, and is love," he said. "Religion will try to form you into its image, but God says you mustn't ever leave the purity of what you have right now, because THIS is the battle-ground, and THIS is the pure gospel of God. THESE are the hurting and lonely..." I talked with MVF about his gift, and he said in tears that he hasn't exercised it since 1993. Christine and I prayed with him again, and he prophesied to her as well (so accurately that Christine immediately began to bawl at his dead-on words). I thought of Romans 11:29- "God's gifts... are without repentance." He gives gifts and simply doesn't rescend them.</div><div><br /></div><img src="http://www.prideisalive.com/images/pride_0006.jpg"><div>Some other observations from my day:</div><div><br /></div><div>*These people immediately know that I'm straight. There's a level of spiritual awareness/acuity among this set that's striking.</div><div><br /></div><div>*Among the more than 20 people I ministered to, not ONE said anything like, "this is all hogwash. Why are you wasting my time?" Even the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicca">Wiccan</a> priestess I talked to was sweet to me and heard me out. A LARGE majority of my folks said they'd been burned by religion and rejection, and DEEPLY appreciated the prayer.</div><div><br /></div><div>* When I told these folks that I didn't do any organization (when they inquired about my church experience), and that I met in homes with people, they immediately asked if they could join in. Amazing. I hope to hear from 3 different people this week.</div><div><br /></div><div>* This community is well aware of its depravity, and its need. I felt like I was surrounded by people whose souls were open wounds, flapping in the breeze, instead of the buttoned-up, "we've got it together, we're doing fine" people in the yuppie parts of town. Pretty easy pickings.</div><div><br /></div><div>* I loved how one person, who's in my circle of believer relationships, moved because of something she wanted to do to spread Jesus' love. Then others of us simply agreed with her and supported her, and we saw God too because of it. Gee, that was easy.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-31506939245046675432008-06-11T20:59:00.002-04:002008-06-11T21:01:39.024-04:00I Completely Believe This Man<img src="http://hoopedia.nba.com/images/f/fe/T1_0720_donaghy.jpg"><br />The high-fastening pants, to me, scream VERACITY!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-85215823089312862972008-06-07T15:11:00.005-04:002008-06-08T14:01:56.269-04:00Summertime Bubble Gum Review!<img src="http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j186/momsquawk/album2/kid_bubblegum.jpg" /><br />It's warming up in the midwest. The grass (and weeds. MY GOD the WEEDS!) is making its annual comeback, people are working in their yards like it's their job, and the hopeful are even considering shimmying into swimsuits. Well, if you're walking barefoot down to the swimming hole, and all you've got is a straw hat and some icy Grape Nehi in your satchel, I suggest bubble gum as a companion for the journey. Bubble gum is a classic minor indulgence, to me. It's truly one of life's teeny-tiny pleasures. So rifle through those baseball cards (see product #6), set your garden hose to Stun, and let's start VC’s <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Summertime Bubble Gum Review</span></span>!<br /><br />* * * * * * * * * * *<br /><br />We’ve decided that there are really four major categories by which any bubble gum can (and should) be judged:<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">*Presentation.</span></span> This includes packaging, color, and how the gum is delivered. This matters. If you don’t agree, then you think au gratin is mashed potatoes is French fries.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">*Initial Experience</span></span>. That first 30 seconds, what happens inside my mouth? Is it bitter because of packaging powder? Is it grainy? How chewy is it up front?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">*Bubble-Blowing Capability.</span></span> It’s called, after all, BUBBLE gum. I’m a believer in the bubble blowing. Get Juicy Fruit if you just want to chew (seriously. Get it. I don’t know what that flavor is they’ve come up with over at Wrigley, but it’s delicious). Also, you should know that we’ve limited the review to “original” bubble gum flavor. The neon or mouth-staining tones preferred by 11-year-olds are not represented here. Purists only.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">*Duration of Quality.</span></span> Simple stopwatch method, here. How long does the goodness last? Probably not very long, but I’d rather invest my bubble dollars on something that will last over 3 minutes.<br /><br />Those are the criteria by which the gums shall be judged. Let’s hop to:<br /><br /><img src="http://mabryonline.org/blogs/davis/images/2979_super_bubble_gum.jpg" /><img src="http://mabryonline.org/blogs/davis/images/2979_super_bubble_gum.jpg" /><img src="http://mabryonline.org/blogs/davis/images/2979_super_bubble_gum.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Super Bubble</span></span>- This and Dubble Bubble were the most common bubble gums of my youth. These were found in generous supply at barber shops, youth events, and in Halloween bags. I’m going to let Super Bubble stand in for them both. Its blue-and-yellow swirl packaging is iconic and a standard in the bubblegum world.<br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Presentation</span>- I remember this being more of a cube of gum, whereas Super Bubble has moved on and now gives us a suppository-shaped tube. I could’ve said ‘hot dog’, I guess, but you only get honesty here at VC, and I’m not a fan of candy in this shape (never really been a Mike and Ike/Red Hots guy for that reason).<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2) Initial Experience-</span> Wow. This flavor really does take me back. I think, for some reason, of going to the general store in Iola, Texas, and putting this gum on my uncle Kennth’s tab, which was about the most amazing thing in the world to me. I’m surprised that, in about two minutes, it turns bitter. Disappointing. BITTERLY disappointing, if you will. I think you probably will. I should also add that SB was the only bubblegum that actually stuck to my teeth, which is extremely off-putting. This immediately reminds you that you should NOT be chewing bubble gum. This may be true, but it’s very unpleasant to consider.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3) Bubble-Blowing Capability-</span> Just terrible. I’m really surprised: in my memory this was a terrific bubblegum. SB has an interesting quality in its consistency, and it’s something that you see in many bubble gums, but it’s going to be tough to describe: this gum has a taffy-like makeup, but when a bubble is blown, suddenly it’s the thinnest material around. It’s like when frogs blow out their chests while they’re croaking (I’m sure there’s a term for that. I won’t bother to look it up)- one second they’re frog-thickness, the next they’re the thickness of a page from the Bible. I’m calling this quality Gum Surface Tension, and SB’s is the pits. No good.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4) Duration of Quality-</span> Well, ‘quality’ is a strong term with Super Bubble, but let’s just say that the experience you have with this gum is absolutely gone in 8 minutes. It’s a stringy mess in there. Get it out of my mouth.</blockquote><img src="http://www.candyfavorites.com/pi/bubble_yum_sugarfree.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">2) Bubble Yum-</span></span> I remember loving this gum in jr. high. It was just fun and soft. I mean, the title says YUM, right?<br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Presentation-</span> The package is bigger than ever, with the gum loaded in an unwieldy rectangle instead of the Rolo-style shaft. Also, the packaging now features a duck wearing a nose ring (their mascot?), which is a really disturbing image. Does this cartoon help move gum?<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2) Initial Experience</span>- <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0Tr3_XJXqg&feature=related">Bubble Yum</a> really surprised me, as it has an amazingly gritty texture at the outset, as if all the sugar in this gum is still granulated. I don’t prefer this uneven sensation; I find it off-putting like an overripe apple. I will say, though, that for a good 30 seconds, this gum is delicious.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3) Bubble-Blowing Capability-</span> All you’d want in this department, at least for the first five minutes (It goes without saying, for the remainder of this review, that all these gums are going to be really good for about five minutes, then they’re going to sigNIFicantly drop off in taste and performance. This is bubble gum we’re talking about, not chiraz.) I also have to mention, here, that blowing bubbles with gum that still contains sugar bits throughout is a little weird.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4) Duration of Quality-</span> Bubble Yum loses its steam quickly. In about the time it takes you to work the sugar down, the thrill is gone. Give it 8 minutes and move on.</blockquote><br /><img src="http://www.kandyxchange.info/images/lib_img/lib_americas/bubbletape.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">3) Bubble Tape, by Hubba Bubba</span></span>- Hubba Bubba has a long history associating itself with the old west, dating back to its <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=r270ZGet0ck">“Gumfighters” ad campaign</a>, which I thought was prêt-ty cool back in the day. I would’ve watched that MOVIE! That cowboy reference point has stuck with me, somehow (maybe in part because ‘Bubba’ is a very country/Texas word), and Hubba Bubba has added to its lore in recent years when it introduced us to gum-from-a-holster:<br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Presentation-</span> CRAZY about this presentation. In this wonderful gum-as-tape format, I can choose how much of this junk I want in my head. The case is hard plastic (the only bubble gum with this packaging) so they have the freedom to make nice, soft gum without it doing the mash-together. A gum holster!<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2) Initial experience-</span> The Bubble Tape packaging system necessitates a powder for separation, since it’s coiled up inside the holster. So, you have to work through that flour-y intro for maybe 10 seconds. The gum itself, though, is instantly soft and smooth. There is nothing grainy about this gum. Niiiiiice.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3) Bubble-Blowing Capability-</span> This is a bubble blower’s gum, all the way down the line. Once you give the gum maybe a minute to congeal into it’s terrific consistency, it’s full steam ahead on bubbles. And the ability to blow bubbles lasts quite a while.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4) Duration of Quality-</span> Bubble Tape gives us a strong 25 minutes of sweet chaw. That’s pretty much when the flavor has gone from the gum, but it’s still ready to blow bubbles—it simply doesn’t turn to rubber, which is an engineering marvel, if you ask me.</blockquote><img src="http://www.candyfavorites.com/i/t_733_01.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">4) Trident-</span></span> Their whole deal was that doctors just freakin LOVED it, so I grew up thinking that there was a medicinal aspect to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cLYSU0J2JM&feature=related">Trident</a> (I still have that in the back of my mind), which made me not want to chew it for fun. For fresh breath, sure: we’re talking about germs and bacteria and cleanliness. But for bike riding and driveway basketball and blowing bubbles? Trident doesn’t really spring to mind, for me. I include it in this review just for fairness’ sake.<br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Presentation-</span> Everybody knows this, but I’ll say it anyway: for bubble gum, the portions are JUST TOO SMALL. It’s a joke. Two pieces are REQUIRED, three are optimal. Also, Trident has moved to the side-opening package these days (something increasingly popular among minty gums), so that pulling out a stick of gum reminds one of grabbing a crayon or choosing a pastel. It’s fairly convenient, but always seems out of place, to me.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2) Initial Experience-</span> For about five seconds, Trident is smooth and tasty. But here it comes… that overwhelming chemical taste. That doesn’t help my perceptions of Trident being somehow antiseptic. Less enjoyable than you’d hope. That chemical patina never ebbs, unfortunately.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3) Bubble-Blowing Capability</span>- Trident scores very low on GST, as it completely loses itself when a bubble is blown. The wad itself is thick to the point of being tough, but the bubble is super thin and fragile. Unacceptable. Terrible wad-to-bubble thickness ratio.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4) Duration of Quality-</span> If you like medicine so much that you want to incorporate it into your recreation, then you should a) look into professional baseball, and b) chew as much Trident Bubble Gum as possible. This taste and tough consistency is rather resilient, lasting upwards of 20 minutes. Knock yourself out, there, champ.</blockquote><img src="http://www.candyfavorites.com/pi/tastychewy.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">5) Big League Chew-</span></span> Now see, this stuff is what I would ride my bike to the Circle K to purchase with lifeguard money. I have a long history with this product, and have held it in high esteem for decades, now. This was a special treat growing up, and still feels like one, now. (I remember the song from <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GyEkvqtHPs">this ad </a>EXACTLY.)<br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Presentation</span>- What can you say? A bald-faced reference to tobacco and baseball? How much more perfect can its branding be? Well, actually, I do have an opinion, there: the animated characters have always seemed too jokey and far-fetched, to me. If you want to go throwback with the baseball/tobacco thing, give me a little dignity in the artwork (pinstripes?). It just seems incongruous to me, but I know that’s strange to say. The real magic, here, is the thin strips of gum, all thrown into a pouch, so that, like Bubble Tape, the consumer decides how much he’ll enjoy at any given time. The only problem with this presentation is that, like loose-leaf tobacco (my uncle always takes a pouch hunting and fishing), time can create a melding of the strands, leaving you with a huge lump of gum, which is uncool. But taking a wad of these thin strips then bringing them under control into a chaw is a wonderful sensation.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2) Initial Experience-</span> I’m surprised, not having had it in a while (you can typically only get BLC at sporting goods stores and the occasional Bed Bath & Beyond), that there is an unmistakably chemical tone to this gum as well. It almost comes across as too liquid, also. This is not something you battle with a bouncier gum, a la Bubble Tape. But it is incredibly smooth.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3) Bubble-Blowing Capability-</span> Of course, out of the ‘ballpark’ (HA! Get it?), but I will say that the bubbles are a mite thin and sticky. I could see how a youngster could get this stuck on his face, hair, and clothes no problem.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4) Duration of Quality-</span> I want to throw in here that, like Bubble Tape, BLC congeals into a nice boucy consistency in about 2 minutes. And for a solid half hour, you’re blowing strong bubbles without jaw pain. Nice work, BLC.</blockquote><br /><img src="http://image.funexpress.com/feimg/k1158.jpg?resize(250x250)" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">6) Bazooka Bubble Gum-</span></span> We might as well throw in every stick of dirt that accompanies baseball cards, and basketball cards, here. It’s all the same. And holy Moses, it ain’t pretty. This was the joke gum of my youth. We all liked the character they created with Bazooka Joe (he’s a funny rebel! Who can’t get behind that?), but land sakes, what are they using him to peddle? By the way, they have a nice <a href="http://www.bazookajoe.com/">website</a> for such a crap product.<br /><br /><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1) Presentation-</span> The Bazooka I found for this review was in a little loaf, Bit-O-Honey style, with the wrapper twisted up on both sides (like the photo above). Neat new logo. Unbelievably hard. I could’ve used it to re-hammer some nails on my fence that’ve come loose.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2) Initial Experience-</span> The only gum to actually induce self-loathing immediately upon consumption. This stuff is hard, hard, HARD, and tastes like cherry cough syrup. It’s also grainy, which I didn’t expect.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3) Bubble-Blowing Capability-</span> Don’t kid yourself. This stuff has a Gum Surface Tension of -5. It breaks when you try to establish a tongue groove in it, much less blow a bubble. A ridiculous bubblegum insult.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">4) Duration of Quality-</span></span> To my amazement, Bazooka’s taste and bounce hung in for all of 6 minutes. I was expecting 4.</blockquote>* * * * * * * * * * *<br /><br />The gum I recommend for you this summer is: Bubble Tape, by Hubba Bubba. So good, I gave it the title link.<br /><br />* * * * * * * * * * *<br /><img src="http://www.sweetstall.com/acatalog/Bubblicious_Strawberry.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Afterthought 1: Bubblicious.</span><br /> I remember kind of shying away from this gum as a youngster, which was probably deeply intertwined with their colorful, futuristic advertising campaign: “<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=2UNNZ2AfTFU">The Ultimate Bubble has the ultimate flavors.</a>” It seemed like they were going for too much, to me, and I had no interest in being sucked into outer space by blowing a bubble. Other than that, I can only say that it seems, based on its name, vaguely feminine, which is a turn-off. I rarely ever purchased this brand. But I was surprised, in preparing for this post, to find that, if there's a regular-flavored Bubblicious out there, I can't locate it. All their flavors are outrageous and WILD! ...and turn your mouth blue. Too bad.<br /><img src="http://websiteswww.webbysdesign.com/fruitstripe.jpg" /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Afterthought 2: Fruit Stripe Gum.</span><br />This was called ‘bubble gum’, but I’m not sure why. They never had ‘bubble gum’ flavor (it’s weird stuff: grape, cherry, “cotton candy”?, and ‘mixed fruit’ which I guess means “trust us, kids. It’s sweet, okay?”), and trying to blow a bubble out of this hard, grainy gum is a fool’s errand. Ain’t happening. I will say that printing stripes on a stick of gum is brilliant, and I also like the kind-looking zebra on the package, although 1) As a kid, I confused him with the Toys R Us mascot, Geoffrey (who was the only non-brit I ever came across who spelled his name that way), and 2) I heard he was run up on pedophilia charges in the late 80s, which was a shocking disappointment.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-7085444527225370322008-05-27T17:30:00.008-04:002008-05-28T00:13:34.208-04:00Slap that thang!Another year-long home improvement project bites the dust. Eat it, chunky.<div><br /></div><div>Here's them <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">BEFORE-style</span> photos:</div><div><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyPA1unb7x4wyClDUVB0O0v48F555bPGZXwlO1IWnyBzt5-lzCs3uvC1Ro8eJuear7UCFa_GJw0Cjp1pAPEo_RSpMmq8EodvC0eCA_LqXOk4jvM10-mQYOyQcaX5MWH4N-zFxZ/s1600-h/Picture+13.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyPA1unb7x4wyClDUVB0O0v48F555bPGZXwlO1IWnyBzt5-lzCs3uvC1Ro8eJuear7UCFa_GJw0Cjp1pAPEo_RSpMmq8EodvC0eCA_LqXOk4jvM10-mQYOyQcaX5MWH4N-zFxZ/s320/Picture+13.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205177957164959954" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgUeH91HIbvzAzb2RvCv8JG77_JFXTaWw_isoBYqtrA-WE9wKRNzfOaaWw3NEliNOQlTRhY7nHz8Pf4vqokl1SULlZv96KKx1RVC7w8trcbGALJVM8NlLw7S4RilkMtHlwpbx/s1600-h/Picture+12.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgUeH91HIbvzAzb2RvCv8JG77_JFXTaWw_isoBYqtrA-WE9wKRNzfOaaWw3NEliNOQlTRhY7nHz8Pf4vqokl1SULlZv96KKx1RVC7w8trcbGALJVM8NlLw7S4RilkMtHlwpbx/s320/Picture+12.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205173670787598530" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkgqibOPm6-wF6G19IZltZNrn6jXwhgpbpFpB9jGy0e-LsTGuFrAkIAA7lMMNsf2xLD-wT0y6cZlxYDVNBLYgyJwXAEQmFy8t51NpxNw3dUr2JMLXEAX9hoLClTchZ87Q7Y0OI/s1600-h/Picture+11.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkgqibOPm6-wF6G19IZltZNrn6jXwhgpbpFpB9jGy0e-LsTGuFrAkIAA7lMMNsf2xLD-wT0y6cZlxYDVNBLYgyJwXAEQmFy8t51NpxNw3dUr2JMLXEAX9hoLClTchZ87Q7Y0OI/s320/Picture+11.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205173533348645042" /></a><br />If you could see better, you would note several colors of paint- this thing's been chipping since poodle skirts were in vogue. Also, please note the $7 keep-the-insurance-company-off-my-butt handrail. $7=Quality, in case you weren't paying attention.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now, a photo of all my assistants on this project:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu2BXdQcakWXthyaKXVHv4f8cd8GnFDmA5r82HUCoRVsAbScf4RAIvCOqA2ydsiHADDyV0B3yTz-Dy2s1qwxipxIjpVGllQ7I-VGVkJ4MkyEXAAxkMY4WWbEbDsIuPsciuf9hd/s1600-h/P1000584.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu2BXdQcakWXthyaKXVHv4f8cd8GnFDmA5r82HUCoRVsAbScf4RAIvCOqA2ydsiHADDyV0B3yTz-Dy2s1qwxipxIjpVGllQ7I-VGVkJ4MkyEXAAxkMY4WWbEbDsIuPsciuf9hd/s320/P1000584.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205179112511162594" /></a><br />I honestly cannot believe how good-looking we are. I can't believe it! I'm agnostic on this one.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Lastly, the AFTER-style photos. Read em and weep, porch! In your face, steps!<br /><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2131/2528661333_accac81290.jpg?v=0"><br /><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2211/2528665271_e2aef12329.jpg?v=0"><br /><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2407/2528662737_8695574903.jpg?v=0"><br /><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2336/2528663879_c68d174dfb.jpg?v=0"><br /><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3005/2528666867_3ab31d9113.jpg?v=0"><br />Think I'm being a little overzealous with the photos? A little too many, maybe? Not if it's taken me this long to do this dumb thing. I know this: I'm a much better tile-and-grout man than I was a year ago. And I've got Curb Appeal!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-59294900344070890522008-05-26T17:42:00.003-04:002008-05-28T00:14:23.520-04:00Rehearsed Sincerity, like a university girlfriend<img src="http://blog.kir.com/archives/George-Bush%20frowning.jpg" /><br />I heard a blurb on NPR today of W. at his Memorial Day photo op. He was saying, among other things, "I am humbled by those who have made the ultimate sacrifice that allow a free civilization to endure and flourish." He also threw in, "It only remains for us, the heirs of their legacy, to have the courage and the character to follow their lead and to preserve America as the greatest nation on Earth and the last, best hope for mankind." He mentioned the "stinging cold of Valley Forge" and of dead soldiers finding "peace beneath the whitehead stones..." <br /><br />It's hilarious to think of quoting these words and attributing them to the President, because we all know they were created by someone else, reviewed by a team of political strategists, and finally presented to the press (="Amur-ka") like rhetorical cheese whiz, processed and inauthentic. I also decided that, what I don't like about this president (in comparison to others) is that he's just not a believable actor. He LOOKS like he's reading somebody else's words, and he really doesn't understand what they're trying to get at. Clinton, on the other hand: he could be reading the Kroger weekly mailer and totally convey that he UNDERSTANDS these great prices and WANTS YOU to agree with him that Kroger really is the Cost Cutter.<br /><br />Politics is trashy.<br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q5r6TqpOQGc&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q5r6TqpOQGc&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-51650759395599743692008-05-26T02:39:00.001-04:002008-05-26T02:41:17.894-04:00Rock Solid<a href="http://www.myspace.com/gabedixonband"><img src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll204/gabedixonband/GDB_disappear_iTunes-1.jpg" /></a><br />Based on this, very much looking forward to the album.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-10891605841064000012008-05-26T01:53:00.002-04:002008-05-26T02:25:11.101-04:00Post: Mortem<img src="http://www.dailyencouragement.net/images/temp/hearse_with_uhaul.jpg"><br />There's a terrible practice in Africa and the middle east where widows get saddled with all kinds of debt because they have to entertain family for like a week and have these elaborate functions when their husbands die. And if they don't come through, they're shamed by the family and village forever. And uncles and brothers routinely seize lands and properties from these newly-destitute women as well. It's something <a href="www.ijm.com">IJM</a> works hard to combat, but it's rampant.<br /><br />I was being reminded of this injustice by Mipone, our guest from South Africa, just before having another conversation with musrat (now in America) about the same thing. The death/mourning/remembrance topic is generally enigmatic for me. Here's a smattering of my issues:<br /><blockquote><br />* What's the deal with headstones and graveyards? Is that necessary? Do you have to go somewhere to remember your loved one? Or is it just easier to NOT buy another teeny tiny piece of property, pay to have it maintained ("Could you mow over my dad's carcass from now till kingdom come? Great. Here's ten thousand dollars."), and feel a weird guilt for not being more involved in this little tract? I'm open to education, but I just don't get it.<br /><br />* What's the deal with visiting grave sites? Do you have a talk with dead people there, like in sentimental movie (or occult-type flicks)? We don't believe in that crossing over stuff, right? Is there anything you can say on that property, looking at those dates, that you couldn't say in your backyard to the same effect? I'm talking out of ignorance, here. I've visited grave sites of my relatives-passed-on, but all I feel is vaguely creepy. <br /><br />* What's the deal with coffins and morticians and embalming and all that stuff, period? Is there some psychological value in letting people look at a human carcass at memorial services (these I'm for, bye the bye) that beats having a photograph or just a memory? Don't we believe that "the flesh counts for nothing" like that Jesus dude said?</blockquote><br /><br />As for me, I'm all for recycling any of my body parts that can be harvested, then you can feed my meaty bits to the jackals, which is a great word. Don't cremate my body- that's a much of a racket as the coffin biz. Just sneak my casings to your local open incinerator or (here's a neat experiment) I hear HCL will eat through everything and you could just flush it down the drain. I'd suggest the disposal in your sink but there'd be a LOT of cutting involved. How bout pigs, like in Snatch (a fun film, as I recall)? <br /><br />So much pomp for the preservation and monumentalization of that which means the least in us- our bodies. Why?<br /><img src="http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/088b4QJakWeSA/610x.jpg"><br /><br />ps- when I was younger, I wrote a lot of poetry about death, though I find myself to be a fairly optimistic guy. Why are the young so interested? I'll include one here...<br /><br />Ten thousand days, now, I’ve been led<br />And one grim truth demands my head:<br />That my day comes<br />With fife and drums<br />And someday, I’ll be dead.<br /><br />And what will my reaction be<br />When, barging, lumb’ring, death takes me?<br />Its fatal grist<br />None can resist<br />As we all soon shall see.<br /><br />Will my life have been but a cloud<br />Which vanishes at sun’s pure shroud?<br />Will death attest<br />That my life’s best<br />Was small, and vain, and proud?<br /><br />Perhaps my days will act as proof<br />Of GOD’s dominion, love, and truth<br />May it be said<br />When I lie dead<br />“He loved Him in his youth”<br /><br />And both these fates before me stand<br />Awaiting praise or reprimand<br />And only I<br />Choose or deny<br />As I walk through life’s land<br /><br />And at the great Final Review<br />I’ll first see me, and you’ll see you<br />We’ll see what lasts<br />From both our pasts<br />When our lives’ days are throughUnknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-34865104417347932342008-05-23T15:55:00.001-04:002008-05-23T15:57:00.623-04:00Crap song, interesting videoit's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI">zeitgeist-tapping</a>!<br /><br />In other news, new look here at the chew. Unfortunately, in order to make the leap, every clever thing anybody's ever said has now dissolved into the internether. I've just coined that word, webster! Bite it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-11829939804951510402008-05-16T22:12:00.004-04:002008-05-16T22:28:53.165-04:00Same Funny ForeignerI'm not trying, people. These are just coming to me, now.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBcGmC4g7CtxWh3ok8ZytP-v5KrPxHSslduHNWX6WYk-o492nl80chT05qn5veZ7JSrEfpCbmQW1x1KSDbw0lOcAEtMbBnlb1Dl0DenByIxI36R_xz3qzVNW7aiQuEyTd_AodM/s1600-h/Picture+4.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBcGmC4g7CtxWh3ok8ZytP-v5KrPxHSslduHNWX6WYk-o492nl80chT05qn5veZ7JSrEfpCbmQW1x1KSDbw0lOcAEtMbBnlb1Dl0DenByIxI36R_xz3qzVNW7aiQuEyTd_AodM/s320/Picture+4.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201168058030778386" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOsW_8zmv8Fcck4mNtLIJ8rbyWjFdzVKtDwP4-YeJeS0pWcLW_AWVT1jj1fyhtNxZ5-vSoV1mjCW36mGZGLjFmW0NcEUO_OiMMwtGVCdrrjOdHj6_4374FbOlaXdrmHZwcgknp/s1600-h/Picture+3.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOsW_8zmv8Fcck4mNtLIJ8rbyWjFdzVKtDwP4-YeJeS0pWcLW_AWVT1jj1fyhtNxZ5-vSoV1mjCW36mGZGLjFmW0NcEUO_OiMMwtGVCdrrjOdHj6_4374FbOlaXdrmHZwcgknp/s320/Picture+3.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201167967836465154" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-89010639753950542122008-05-16T14:21:00.011-04:002008-05-16T14:56:34.207-04:00Same Guy(s)Tay Zonday, like Thom, gives me great trouble. Spoilt by choice. You decide on the most apropos:<br /><br />Same Lucky Dummy<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaF2iDDXnDJzHauZ1TctU_LSPZboWq2RSNEMJDBbeTxAOtrM7_YI9WMh_ZjZfh6nLOKr7sCieUbYDtlYJt7-78sQW9DQwqBzKIhcA6eIVzjODgvF2RaQIeS6utB3RTP1apelp4/s1600-h/Picture+32.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaF2iDDXnDJzHauZ1TctU_LSPZboWq2RSNEMJDBbeTxAOtrM7_YI9WMh_ZjZfh6nLOKr7sCieUbYDtlYJt7-78sQW9DQwqBzKIhcA6eIVzjODgvF2RaQIeS6utB3RTP1apelp4/s320/Picture+32.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201049370904520626" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW3D3Xx4DbL8Q1encUR0Laoo-BL27n75Ikp8qh_t5DGnU-myh1ya3EhnFIGajsNe-UqPJ_vocx7lopPtetI-wlyKM6ZHNZOOOAMbSo95RBua_c_eK1-TbVqxP0oPiB1TBECdNH/s1600-h/Picture+31.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW3D3Xx4DbL8Q1encUR0Laoo-BL27n75Ikp8qh_t5DGnU-myh1ya3EhnFIGajsNe-UqPJ_vocx7lopPtetI-wlyKM6ZHNZOOOAMbSo95RBua_c_eK1-TbVqxP0oPiB1TBECdNH/s320/Picture+31.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201049237760534434" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Same Keyboard Nerd<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxxtMENDHeqTyoJ96VYVRfDuUiyCSza4d-mLWIIuH21XKtgWwsWAM3U2kdvUtF9QAZcbBUhTMRoub-ST8np1qDeweV_gpHvsJNgw6vQWlDBq9hGv_9DqA3X6kgOzfp6nGccHyG/s1600-h/Picture+34.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxxtMENDHeqTyoJ96VYVRfDuUiyCSza4d-mLWIIuH21XKtgWwsWAM3U2kdvUtF9QAZcbBUhTMRoub-ST8np1qDeweV_gpHvsJNgw6vQWlDBq9hGv_9DqA3X6kgOzfp6nGccHyG/s320/Picture+34.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201049826171054034" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJSOBQcv9Qp8gO4OAYFgD6iFRiRL_0eYBypEkMAEx5Jfc2rXrpLyz3E6uDqiXdf9Q6olfb4BM2xDaegebGUqS_R1AUBphYVL2-mB0lS-ZN1oQ_P34NIjqgExFQJF201VtoHYhr/s1600-h/Picture+33.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJSOBQcv9Qp8gO4OAYFgD6iFRiRL_0eYBypEkMAEx5Jfc2rXrpLyz3E6uDqiXdf9Q6olfb4BM2xDaegebGUqS_R1AUBphYVL2-mB0lS-ZN1oQ_P34NIjqgExFQJF201VtoHYhr/s320/Picture+33.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201049723091838914" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Same Charismatic, Talented Personality, Victim of Ignorant Prejudice<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBMeURrA7kx_xV4sSEFxh18l9rj-47lVe0koi-w4WSl2YbP9bpLQ920pMQMqKryKYPZ_kYAKRQ2Q4BO5o11L66Ok7TYrCGODlOHO0lUjIqr6ZoBTsKVrSK3dUjxFIQJiKYE0dL/s1600-h/Picture+35.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBMeURrA7kx_xV4sSEFxh18l9rj-47lVe0koi-w4WSl2YbP9bpLQ920pMQMqKryKYPZ_kYAKRQ2Q4BO5o11L66Ok7TYrCGODlOHO0lUjIqr6ZoBTsKVrSK3dUjxFIQJiKYE0dL/s320/Picture+35.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201050650804774898" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRdebnJBFvjmNo1hWzvwyY2WlVCcXqSethu0bWUIBd6QTICnzm5VhQH2owecxUtATAyobpk-T0bWo7_5jre-GSkRqG1ech-vrq77c8RMdaYUNMy30UEXN7d4COD2hyphenhyphenGNWIkrk/s1600-h/Picture+36.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRdebnJBFvjmNo1hWzvwyY2WlVCcXqSethu0bWUIBd6QTICnzm5VhQH2owecxUtATAyobpk-T0bWo7_5jre-GSkRqG1ech-vrq77c8RMdaYUNMy30UEXN7d4COD2hyphenhyphenGNWIkrk/s320/Picture+36.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201050500480919522" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Bonus Footage:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/caIBKOztlAo"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/caIBKOztlAo" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-29994672993288922952008-05-15T16:31:00.003-04:002008-05-15T16:51:05.289-04:00Same Homey<img src="http://dyn.ifilm.com/image/stills/films/resize/istd/2684477.jpg"><br /><img src="http://www.nba.com/media/act_delonte_west.jpg"><br /><br />And one more:<br /><br />SAME KING<br /><img src="http://www.theclayshow.com/my_weblog/images/2007/06/21/lebron_jamesarton21029240x240.jpg"><br /><img src="http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/09/ceo_socnet/image/burger-king.jpg">Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-23419232593302643052008-05-13T21:00:00.010-04:002008-05-13T21:54:28.012-04:00Same One-Note Performer<img src="http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00337/ed_imgTHOM-YORKE_337987a.jpg"><img src="http://www.myfavouritejew.com/clientimages/3cf1345c04c4c238e84b0f85424MartinShor_Ausse_4036291_400.jpg"><br /><br />I'm sorry, radiohead fans. I meant...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">SAME OVERHYPED SONGWRITER</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhQznRYxIdtqCdjP7-vX2WifCh7TYQ6KJ2JHmjeFHUZOVk6684qnA29KQWeK-vbAPNtVr0yddPq31yA49_1pDGPu2AyRcypuduvtQ4oo_bCWU3_E9QW738JbtQTPScyrMudr3O/s1600-h/Picture+4.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhQznRYxIdtqCdjP7-vX2WifCh7TYQ6KJ2JHmjeFHUZOVk6684qnA29KQWeK-vbAPNtVr0yddPq31yA49_1pDGPu2AyRcypuduvtQ4oo_bCWU3_E9QW738JbtQTPScyrMudr3O/s320/Picture+4.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5200033417865488226" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJm-GfpUITWGQoMxhQNP5mpHmddpVV2ItkLoFFytsphg0SHIzAckUnjF-ga73lReIvwVo10iNoVYYEkrl79b1OozfIxIm-vvYAVi2ijh_ptYgD9TqDy5xXeL3tmmdpc83djXmx/s1600-h/Picture+5.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJm-GfpUITWGQoMxhQNP5mpHmddpVV2ItkLoFFytsphg0SHIzAckUnjF-ga73lReIvwVo10iNoVYYEkrl79b1OozfIxIm-vvYAVi2ijh_ptYgD9TqDy5xXeL3tmmdpc83djXmx/s320/Picture+5.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5200041870361126786" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />okay, again, unfair. I think I got it right this time...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Same Inscrutable Sideshow</span><br /><img src="http://www.vh1.com/sitewide/promoimages/artists/r/radiohead/just/320x240.jpg"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRZtEu8LWyBfaP7tiVxDf05kz86lSij7Am85JNdNKltoigH0A0Y2_DAbolUjvH2kwfnceRyldiqHRE6cGiR8TYqS4vGyUk3qoIBtoM45pFiZJ1_X5Fr2uZB32kcs5P6j_Epv9k/s1600-h/Picture+6.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRZtEu8LWyBfaP7tiVxDf05kz86lSij7Am85JNdNKltoigH0A0Y2_DAbolUjvH2kwfnceRyldiqHRE6cGiR8TYqS4vGyUk3qoIBtoM45pFiZJ1_X5Fr2uZB32kcs5P6j_Epv9k/s320/Picture+6.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5200044855363397522" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-23888057772415712062008-05-12T01:48:00.002-04:002008-05-12T02:35:04.682-04:00He Cannot Stop HimselfI know it's schadenfreude, but it's still kind of fun. See, Kobe Bryant is an arrogant rapist. We all know that. But I also just don't like the way he plays basketball. Not as morally problematic, but still a burr in my saddle.<br /><img src="http://www.laist.com/attachments/la_jessicar/404185993_2c4ef9c123.jpg"><br />Here, a rare shot of Kobe complaining. He is accusing someone of not letting him make more personnel decisions based on threats and pouting to the press.<br /><br />I am a fan of basketball, not so much of teams. If a team that I've supported becomes lazy, heartless, and foppish, I will turn on them (see Dallas Mavericks). If a team I've grown up with and loved with canine loyalty trades a franchise cornerstone in the last 2 years of his career for draft picks that will score such athletic luminaries as Bostjan Nachbar, I will turn on them (see Houston Rockets). And if a team of drug users and miscreants is turned around by stand-up front office guys, attracting hungry men of character, I will be attracted to them like a kid to a carousel (see Portland Trailblazers). I have NEVER been a basketball fan of K.B. Bryant, the Arrogant Rapist. But I'll give him this: he's incredibly consistent.<br /><img src="http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2003/08/01/image566235x.jpg"><br />Another shot of Kobe upset. Here, he feels he should've been given a few more looks at the basket.<br /><br />In today's Utah/L.A. game, Mr. Kobe (arrogant rapist) had a worsening back problem (shadenfreude alert!). By the fourth quarter, his shots were of a quality similar to those hoisted by, say, a drunken Mike Gminski. But here's the thing about Kobe (arrogant rapist): You could behead him and he'd still think that HIM SHOOTING is the best option possible. So what did he do? Why, he kept right on hoisting it up there. We've all had to endure SO MUCH positive press about the Arrogant Rapist surrounding his MVP anointing by money-grubbing David Stern (businessman. never played basketball.), and much of it surrounded his supposedly newfound love of his teammates and his incredible desire to involve them in the games. (imagine! involving one's teammates in a game of basketball! Can we get this guy a second MVP for that?) But when push comes to shove, as it did today in a high-pressure playoff game where victory was an improbability, Kobe (A.R.) reasoned that, even WITH a faltering body and an inability to shoot, he was STILL a better option than any of his able-bodied teammates. So he chucked it up there. Repeatedly. Took it himself and took his chances with his favorite option, himself. And finally, when his final shot at the buzzer was an AIRBALL (shadenfreude alert upgraded to orange!) anybody who was watching could've seen the bald truth that it's the same old Kobe (A.R.) as it ever was. Only now he's carting around the MVP trophy he lifted from Chris Paul (I would use the term RAPE in this sentence, but that crime has already been spoken for by Kobe).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6657661.post-1483013263616856352008-05-06T15:53:00.002-04:002008-05-12T01:48:22.307-04:00A Visit to the Absurd World of Dr. maSeuss<img src="http://wwp.us.com/personal-services/massage/images/massage.jpg"><br />It is my anniversary (FANKyouveddymuch) so, as is our tradition, me and D offed for an us-themed getaway. This retreat included a massage. Jiff has written excellently about this phenomenon in the past (care to share, J?), but I think the strangeness of this topic deserves another visit. Here is my story.<br /><br />* This is a bizarre little world they've cooked up, here. Even before you walk in the door, the signals are there. Candles everywhere. What could only be regarded as asian-influenced lawn ornaments litter the inside of this place. Signage everywhere is telling you to RELAX. There are provocative, organic aromas everywhere. Everything is soft. You slip off your workaday clothes and put on robes. There's classical guitar music playing quietly. Sound like anything you've ever heard of before? Yeah, the cues don't say HEALTH, the cues say ROMANCE! This is problematic and weird.<br /><br />* As I'm preparing (as it is) to have a 20something woman pet my hair, caress my chest, and rub my upper thighs (many famous men have had charges brought against them for very similar activities), I ask my WIFE which of my clothes I should take off (I rarely ask anyone this question). My WIFE tells me "take off as much as you're comfortable with." This is MY WIFE. It struck me that people like musrat and moljer would instantly take off every stitch of clothing, and people like Jiff would actually ADD some clothing at the suggestion that they make themselves "as comfortable as possible." I opted for, ahem, 'undies on'.<br /><br />* I am too big for this activity. There are no booties that fit me, and the ridiculous robe they give me ties around the middle of my ribs. It's... silly. When I go into the PRIVATE ROOM with me and my new ladyfriend (remember the mood lighting and music and my state of undress as I ask you "Does this sound advisable to anybody who wants to maintain their married status?), I learn that I don't fit on their little table. (for what it's worth, I like these tables. I like a table where I can lie completely face-down and still be comfortable.) This whole scene wasn't built for masculinity, marital fidelity, nor those of us Born Large.<br /><br />* I've been instructed by friends to relax during a massage, not to think too much or (as been my m.o. in the past) talk non-stop. "Simply enjoy it." Impossible. At the outset, the woman (I never even knew her name!) began to slowly massage my head. And I had a thought: this woman must be more sensitive to the human body than I am. She's knowledgeable, skilled, and experienced in dealing with bodies. She has a discerning eye, surely. So, what is she thinking about MY body? I suddenly want to start a long list of apologies. "If you run into some flaking on my scalp up there, I am so sorry. I know I am a repulsive pig. Later, you're going to find a toenail that looks like a long-abandoned corn chip. Again, I'm sorry. That's an old basketball injury... it looks a heck of a lot better than it once did. And I think there's a a zit on my thigh--I know that will be gross for you. And if the patchouli oil is overcome by the smell on onions, well it was on our pizza last night..."<br /><br />* As she's kneading my body (and burrowing into my calves like the meaning of life will present itself to her, as long as she DIGS), I think "there are really only three options here. Either she is not enjoying this for the aforementioned reasons, which makes me feel horrible and want to leave immediately, or she IS enjoying this, which is creepy and offputting and makes me want to leave immediately or--and here comes the best case scenario--she is completely inured to the whole thing and just doesn't care at all. Yup, that's best case: the person who's been given incredibly intimate access to my person is totally apathetic about it.<br /><img src="http://www.achieve-fitness.com/massage/massage%20boy%202.jpg"><br />Here's a picture of someone hating someone they're massaging.<br /><br />* When this woman was finished working me over, I was slimy and smelly and was offered a shower on the premises, which I accepted. After showering and re-dressing (relief!), I sheepishly waved to everyone on duty and slinked out. I made sure none of the newspapers were there to photograph me coming out of the shameful House of Rubbing. Just felt like I'd paid filthy lucre so that someone ELSE would have carnal knowledge of ME. (What a ripoff, huh?)<br /><br />* I decided while in the spa that, because of the massive amounts of (already discussed) physical intimacy involved, Jesus would not go for a massage, and maybe I should never do this again for that reason. I told Didi so later that day but, as if she'd been waiting on this suggestion, she snapped back, "He was obviously okay with the anointing oil and the foot massage that lady gave him." Huh. Shut my mouth.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.massagetableoutlet.com/images/blog_images/massage-table.jpg"><br />Come, all you who are holding stress in your shoulders, and I will give you a thorough pummeling.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0