Me:1 The System:1
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Attack of the Albino Monkey Man!
My Friend David has this dad who's an eye doctor. He scored me the free trial Nike sports contacts that the Butthole Doc wouldn't cough up. Big Daddy finds a way.
Me:1 The System:1
Me:1 The System:1
South Africa, Part 2
A few months ago, I wrote about the redemptive power of sin, and how it’s possible for us to do what Jesus did: namely, to absorb the sins of other people.
Interestingly enough, I got a deeper lesson on that very subject while overseas.
Like I said before leaving, Didi was on a team that visited and prayed for AIDS patients in their homes and in the hospice we’ve built. This is one of her experiences:
She walks into a dim, dingy shack with two other prayer beast women, who look all lovely and bathed on the outside, but inside are carrying enough spiritual ammunition to detonate a continent. Anyhow, they meet an African woman who's full of peace and joy, though also full up with hepatitis. She's also wracked with fear; she’d been too intimidated by the possible results to ever go for testing or medication. She badly wants prayer, though. As Didi begins to pray for this woman, she takes a page out of Peter and Paul’s playbook. Remember when they said, “we don’t have any money to give you, but what we do have, we freely give you…” then healed the guy? Well, Didi starts in with a similar impartation. She imparts her peace and fearlessness to the lady, then says, “your own body is unable to fight off this sickness, but mine is able. I impart to you MY health, and my body’s strength. Have it, in Jesus’ name.” Didi later said that she’d never prayed anything like this before, and hadn’t considered it beforehand; the Spirit of God simply told her to lay it out there.
The woman says she feels some relief, but my Didi immediately feels a painful burning in her chest. She's concerned about taking care and attention away from these African women, so says nothing at the time, but once out of the shack, she tells her colleagues about this increasingly debilitating pain she's experiencing. She was knocked sideways for about two hours, and finally relieved of what she believed was a physical manifestation of the spirit of infirmity that had sucked onto her when she freely gave away her health and strength.
So did Didi carry hepatitis out of an African shack, like John Coffee in The Green Mile? Well, you tell me. I do know this, though: we can siphon sins and even the effects of sin off people just like that Jesus did way back in Isaiah 53 when he bore up our infirmities. And my Didi’s IN, full bore. So am I.
Interestingly enough, I got a deeper lesson on that very subject while overseas.
Like I said before leaving, Didi was on a team that visited and prayed for AIDS patients in their homes and in the hospice we’ve built. This is one of her experiences:
She walks into a dim, dingy shack with two other prayer beast women, who look all lovely and bathed on the outside, but inside are carrying enough spiritual ammunition to detonate a continent. Anyhow, they meet an African woman who's full of peace and joy, though also full up with hepatitis. She's also wracked with fear; she’d been too intimidated by the possible results to ever go for testing or medication. She badly wants prayer, though. As Didi begins to pray for this woman, she takes a page out of Peter and Paul’s playbook. Remember when they said, “we don’t have any money to give you, but what we do have, we freely give you…” then healed the guy? Well, Didi starts in with a similar impartation. She imparts her peace and fearlessness to the lady, then says, “your own body is unable to fight off this sickness, but mine is able. I impart to you MY health, and my body’s strength. Have it, in Jesus’ name.” Didi later said that she’d never prayed anything like this before, and hadn’t considered it beforehand; the Spirit of God simply told her to lay it out there.
The woman says she feels some relief, but my Didi immediately feels a painful burning in her chest. She's concerned about taking care and attention away from these African women, so says nothing at the time, but once out of the shack, she tells her colleagues about this increasingly debilitating pain she's experiencing. She was knocked sideways for about two hours, and finally relieved of what she believed was a physical manifestation of the spirit of infirmity that had sucked onto her when she freely gave away her health and strength.
So did Didi carry hepatitis out of an African shack, like John Coffee in The Green Mile? Well, you tell me. I do know this, though: we can siphon sins and even the effects of sin off people just like that Jesus did way back in Isaiah 53 when he bore up our infirmities. And my Didi’s IN, full bore. So am I.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
A loss.
While waiting in the horrible, horrible waiting room of your local Oil Change Pit, I picked up a snot-smeared ESPN Magazine. In it, there was a coupon from Nike for their new contacts. Seems the boys up in Oregon have come up with a new product, where a shoe company makes this thing you put in your eye. They're supposed to cut down on glare, increase contrast--make your sporting experience much better, basically. This intrigues me because I've never put anything in my eye before, and because I'm interested in a product making those kinds of promises. Anyhow, the coupon said they're giving away free trials of these contacts, and I'm always up for a weird experience, especially one of the Free Variety.
After checking with my HR person, I went to a Humana-approved eye doctor, and plunked down $15 (co-pay, you understand) for an eye exam. This alone could be a good post: I haven't had this sort of thing done to me since 5th grade, and I was AMAZED at the technology involved. I sat through several rigors that seemed more like intelligence tests than eye exams. (Even if I CAN remember the capital of New Hampshire, how does that help you know which glasses I should wear?) After all this, including photos of my retinas (?!), dialated pupils (which caused me to see worse than I EVER HAVE in my life, so that the doctor could LOOK AT THE BACK OF MY EYEBALL!!!), and a peripheral vision test, I strutted to the counter, pleased that I'd passed with flying colors and ready to get my Complimentary Sports Contacts by Nike, only to have the lady tell me that there'd be an $80 "Contact Consulatation Fee" tacked onto my $15 bill. Never mind that, from the outset, I told them ALL that my eyes were FINE and the ONLY reason I was here was to get the Nike contacts. Never mind that nobody mentioned ANY fees outside the $15, or that I could see the Nike contacts RIGHT OVER THERE JUST HAND THEM TO ME AND I'LL LEAVE. It was, well, frustrating. I made some magnanimous statement and walked out.
My Friend David's dad is an eye doctor. We're hoping he can score us some on the sly. Friggin' Optical RACKET.
After checking with my HR person, I went to a Humana-approved eye doctor, and plunked down $15 (co-pay, you understand) for an eye exam. This alone could be a good post: I haven't had this sort of thing done to me since 5th grade, and I was AMAZED at the technology involved. I sat through several rigors that seemed more like intelligence tests than eye exams. (Even if I CAN remember the capital of New Hampshire, how does that help you know which glasses I should wear?) After all this, including photos of my retinas (?!), dialated pupils (which caused me to see worse than I EVER HAVE in my life, so that the doctor could LOOK AT THE BACK OF MY EYEBALL!!!), and a peripheral vision test, I strutted to the counter, pleased that I'd passed with flying colors and ready to get my Complimentary Sports Contacts by Nike, only to have the lady tell me that there'd be an $80 "Contact Consulatation Fee" tacked onto my $15 bill. Never mind that, from the outset, I told them ALL that my eyes were FINE and the ONLY reason I was here was to get the Nike contacts. Never mind that nobody mentioned ANY fees outside the $15, or that I could see the Nike contacts RIGHT OVER THERE JUST HAND THEM TO ME AND I'LL LEAVE. It was, well, frustrating. I made some magnanimous statement and walked out.
My Friend David's dad is an eye doctor. We're hoping he can score us some on the sly. Friggin' Optical RACKET.
Monday, September 18, 2006
A win!
Word on the street was that Key Bank was handing out free ipods to any sucker who'd walk into the store, open a checking account and credit card, and act like they weren't just there to get a free ipod. I sauntered in, acted like "gosh, I just have money dribbling out everywhere--can I put the extra HERE?", and got fat and sassy off the transaction. To top it off, I told My Friend David about it, and he went and did same, which netted me a $25 Friend Referral Award.
Banking has never made more sense.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Ale-8 1!
This is a delicious local concoction of ginger ale-y fruity fizz. Made right here in Kentucky! Enjoy some when you're in the eastern midwest! I just have!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Mocha-likka-hiney-ho!
Yes, yes, yes. Seeing the system, knowing the system, underSTANDing the system, then KICKING the system in the gronads. That's me, sports fans.
Last night I think to myself, "Sammy old boy, what would you most like to ingest right now, more than any any thing else in the whole world?" I was a little disappointed to hear that the answer was one of those frappucinos from Starbucks, which makes me a sellout and not cool. But that's okay. Anyhow, I thought of the calories, and the expense--my God, the expense!
THEN I THOUGHT OF HOW I'D KICK THE SYSTEM IN THE GRONADS.
And I now have it, and it's so good that, in my joy, I freely give it unto thee. Here it is friends, don't treat it like it's not valuable. It IS valuable, so be diligent in doing it, and giving it away.
-----
Mocha Steveuccino
1c milk
2/3c strong coffee
1/4c chocolate syrup
3T sugar
blend these guys up until the granulation goes away.
2c ice cubes
drink down, praising God in the highest, and Stevie here below.
Last night I think to myself, "Sammy old boy, what would you most like to ingest right now, more than any any thing else in the whole world?" I was a little disappointed to hear that the answer was one of those frappucinos from Starbucks, which makes me a sellout and not cool. But that's okay. Anyhow, I thought of the calories, and the expense--my God, the expense!
THEN I THOUGHT OF HOW I'D KICK THE SYSTEM IN THE GRONADS.
And I now have it, and it's so good that, in my joy, I freely give it unto thee. Here it is friends, don't treat it like it's not valuable. It IS valuable, so be diligent in doing it, and giving it away.
-----
Mocha Steveuccino
1c milk
2/3c strong coffee
1/4c chocolate syrup
3T sugar
blend these guys up until the granulation goes away.
2c ice cubes
drink down, praising God in the highest, and Stevie here below.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Ode to Reel-to-Reels
I was cleaning out a drawer today, and came across a handful of high-quality, brand new, still-in-the-wrapper cassette tapes. Now, what in the FUDGE am I supposed to do with THAT? Prophesying is like the only place in my life where cassettes are still used. Maybe there's a wobbly table out there somewhere that needs my tape.
When I consider how much these little babies were used in my life, and how much $20 (which is probably what they cost) meant to me at that time in my life (like 10 years ago), it makes me a little melancholy.
Fire up the Maxells, and clean out the tape heads one last time for ol Stevie Manuel.
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